Living Well Counseling

I’m including here some of my favorite self-care options. Whether you come to see me I hope you will begin today taking care of you. Find a couple on the list, or rediscover one of your own and begin today. Taking care of you! Living Well!

#1 My first go-to skill is always going to be breathing. I am very aware we are all breathing, but deep, slowed down breathing is the best. Taking a few minutes to become aware of our breathing, noticing whether we are breathing from the top of our chest or getting air all the way down to the diaphragm. Breathing is going to help you go to sleep at night, calm youdown during an anxious moment, an angry moment or even pull you through a sad moment. During the COVID pandemic I made a video for the teens (and their parents) who I was working with. It is probably easier to listen/watch as to read so here’s the link, so get comfy and enjoy. https://youtu.be/QkHnN6zSMjw

#2 Once you get down the breathing techniques, try one of these videos adding muscle relaxation and safe calm place which is guided imagery. https://youtu.be/NrqaGMGEyDE  https://youtu.be/VXXOJqomJLI

#3 Add rhythmic movement. One of the quickest ways to regulate the body after breathing is adding rhythmic movement to your everyday life. Many of us do this without even knowing it. If you have ever caught yourself swinging your leg, rocking side to side or maybe swinging your arms, you are already trying to find ways to regulate the body. Teachers may notice a student tapping a pencil which can be annoying to others but can recognize this kiddo is just trying to regulate their body. So what can we intentionally do to add rhythmic movement. If you have a rocking chair, allow yourself to practice your deep breathing while rocking. I would suggest buying a rocking chair for adults and kids. Maybe you have a swing set for your kids, or there’s a park nearby, swinging is “the best” for regulation. Other things, swimming, jumping on a trampoline, dancing (swaying with your partner) and as mentioned above, tapping, counting on your fingers or tapping your foot.

#4 Add anything that is physical. Body movement will release the excess unhealthy energy we are carrying around that is increasing the anxiety, anger or sadness we are dragging around in our bodies. I realize we are busy or tired but moving the body will actually decrease the tired feeling we are having. Decide what kind of movement works for you, for some, it’s simply walking, for others they like a real workout where there is sweat involved. It could be playing basketball, racket ball, golfing and for others it may be walking to the end of the drive to get the mail. One thing I recommend to everyone is to “dance it out”. If you don’t like dancing in front of others then go to a room by yourself, put on fun music and just allow your body to move. Sometimes if we call it movement instead of dancing, we can convince ourselves to do it. If you haven’t tried this, I’d start there, there’s always music and you always have your body, the two things you need to practice this. I almost guarantee you will be smiling”)

#5 Pet an animal. The connection to other living, breathing things is incredible. If you have a person who will hug you daily (hopefully more than once) great, but if not, if you have a pet, utilize it intentionally to move toward grounding and regulating the body. (I wouldn’t suggest going out and buying animal for this purpose, they are a lot of work, and you may not be ready for that).

#6 Listen to “your” music. We all have music that makes us feel good, makes us want to relax, or move, or sing or it just makes us happy. Again, we usually always have access to music, use it, to regulate and even increase the happy feelings running through the body.

#7 Journal. Journaling your thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, things that make you mad, really anything helps. Moving things from the inside of the body to the outside will always increase your good vibes. But if you really want to feel good, make a “10 list” (10 good things about you), this list should increase to 20 when you get good at 10.

#8 Write down your blessings! List everything you are thankful for, the obvious, friends, family, health but also things you may not think about daily, like the sun came up today, you’re still breathing, you had food to eat today, clothes to wear, shoes, you have feet to put into your shoes, you get the point. I often ask people to do this daily for two weeks and chart how they feel before and after, it’s incredible. There is a lot of research on the power of positive thinking, but I don’t think we needed someone to research to know this works, try it!

#9 Talk to someone you know will listen and who cares. Obviously, this could be a therapist, but you typically only see them once a week. Make a list of all of your other support people who will listen and then use them. Sometimes when we are struggling, we need to reach out to someone we haven’t used in that way for a long while. If they were there for you before, more than likely, they are still there.

#10 Allow yourself to cry. Crying is the body’s natural way of healing. When you notice the tears, let them rise and then fall. If you notice you are crying all the time I would suggest you get up, move the body and use movement to release the rest of the energy, again back to #4, do something physical. Unfortunately, our society has taught people that crying equals weakness. I see it just the opposite, it takes courage to allow yourself to feel, and even more courage to allow yourself to feel in front of others. The body will need to cry to heal.

I’m sure you noticed, none of these included putting anything into your body.